Fatherhood, where life begins anew. Part 1.

You think you have it all figured out. Then life hits and things are turned upside down. Big life events like this are what shapes who you are and makes you into a new person. For me, becoming a father was such a event. I was scared, not of the responsibility but of the unknown. Nothing fully prepares you for it, you just take it in stride and learn through the ups and downs along the way.

I had always wanted to be a father and have kids, I just did not know when that time would come and everything it would bring. As a male, I found myself more of a assistant during pregnancy, trying to help my wife the best that I could as she went through the process. The day she told me she was pregnant, I couldn’t believe it. Not that I wanted to believe it but more so that I was coming to terms that now everything would change. Being a guy who had never been responsible for looking after others I did what I think most men would do. I went to my local grocery store and bought half a shelf of pregnancy test to be sure. I was filled with nervousness and anticipation.

Fast forward through months of ultrasounds, doctor appointments and the day draws close. The spare room has become a nursery. The house was full of gifts and newborn items I did not know the first thing on how to use. Then the day comes. We went in for a routine doctor appointment, but we knew we were close so our bags were packed just in case. The appointment ended rather abruptly, and they said it was time. So we made our way to the hospital, not knowing that the next 10 hours would change our lives forever.

After hours of waiting, she finally came into this world. Holding your first child for the first time was something that I will never forget. It hits you rather abruptly that this is now your responsibility and someone you are to love and care for. The whole ordeal brought me closer to my wife. Holding our new baby, you look each other in the eyes and know that you are in this together.

Shortly after the baby was born we were moved into the new room where we would spend the next two days figuring out what I means to care for a baby. I fell asleep on the couch with my wife and baby between us after hours of being awake and countless caffeinated beverages. When the nurse comes in and tells you there is something wrong with the baby’s temperature and she needed to be brought to a more intensive area my heart sunk. She belonged with us, I did not want her off by herself. So I left my wife to rest and went with her so she was not alone. Sitting next to her in a warmer felt like hours, time seemed to stand still. This is the moment I most vividly remember as when I fully accepted the responsibility. I had found that I now cared for and loved something that a day prior was not even a thing. The world was still moving fast around me with all the visits from hospital staff, instructions on feeding and changing. It was overwhelming but non of that mattered. I knew what I had to do, and I accepted the challenge.

Things got better after that, the initial stress and worry started to subside. It was warming to have family come visit and share the experience. I felt comfortable and safe in the hospital. We had help when we needed it and the staff was there to guide us like having training wheels. Then they say it is time to go home and a new wave of emotions hits you. I look at my wife, and we both know that it will be all of us from here on out.

We gather up our belongings and the items they provided to get us started. Those few days were vital to knowing what little we did learn on basic care and feeding. We arrive home midmorning with three, after we had departed with two. This is where I would spend the next three weeks. Learning how to care for another. Looking back it is easy to say that it was not hard but that would be a lie. So much more is on the line when you care for a child. It was the biggest challenge and most daunting responsibility of my life. The journey is only beginning and many more hurdles stand in our way, but we have our heading and set sail.

Upcoming: The first few months, sleep or lack there of.